


Family

by Shantae



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuuin no Tsurugi | Fire Emblem: Binding Blade
Genre: M/M, ooc probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6931273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shantae/pseuds/Shantae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An army could look so much like a family sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god this fic is so old like i just reread it and i am crying at my old self like this is terrible. so ooc. but anyway. hooraay for my second rutgerdieck fic i guess. a reminder of how far i've come.

Rutger was sitting at the table, listening to Clarine who was endlessly chatting away. Next to him sat Fir, who was trying to feign interest in whatever Clarine was saying but was failing miserably. Dorothy was sitting next to Clarine, and seemed to be the subject of Clarine's endless rants. Sue and Lilina had also been sitting at the table, but left a while ago to talk more privately.

"Now listen carefully." Dorothy looked at Clarine with unsure eyes. "Battlefield or not, you need to look good. Beautiful, even. Ladylike. Don't you agree, Fir?"

Fir glanced at Rutger for help, but he looked away. He regretted sitting down with these girls. "I don't think being beautiful is going to h-"

"Exactly." Clarine said resolutely. "And that it why it's of utmost importance to look like a lady on the battlefield. You can borrow my dresses, if you want. Do not worry about them; I have much more at home."

"That is very generous of you... But I think wearing a long dress on the battlefield will get me killed."

"Worry not! I have dresses and skirts in many sizes and lengths. A short skirt definitely won't get in your way!"

"M-Me? In a short skirt?" Dorothy looked like she had just seen the devil. "I'd rather not... Pants are just fine for me. Besides," she said, before Clarine could say something, "what about Rutger? He's been wearing the same old worn coat for a while now."

Rutger shot her a glare so foul she flinched, but Clarine didn't seem to notice any of it. "You are right. Of course Rutger doesn't have to be ladylike, but he should at least take care of his clothes. You need a new coat, Rutger."

"No, I don't."

"You really do. This one will not suffice. Like Dorothy said, it is old and worn."

"...Like I said. I don't need a new coat."

"H-Hey Clarine," Fir quickly said before Clarine could reply, "I am having a little trouble. You see, I've been a bit bored with my hairstyle. Do you think you can help me?"

"Most definitely!" Clarine jumped up, startling Dorothy. "This seems like the perfect task for me. I have all kinds of ribbons and hairclips in my tent. And oooh, I can shorten it, if you want! Did you have a specific style in mind?"

"Uh, not really..." Fir’s face started paling at the idea of her hair being cut. Clarine grabbed Fir by her hand and left, but not before Fir and Dorothy exchanged fearful glances. Dorothy mouthed her a quick 'thank you', and Rutger couldn't help but feel bad for her. It felt like she had just sacrificed her life for the sake of them. She probably did.

Now left alone with Rutger, Dorothy tried to strike up a friendly conversation. "So, um... Do you... Do you think I should be more ladylike?"

"No."

"Do you even care about any of that, though?"

"...No."

"Right. Well." Dorothy sighed. "I'm gonna go and... look for Saul I guess." Dorothy stood up and was about to leave, but was halted by Rutger's voice.

"Dorothy... Right?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Clarine... has a weird way of showing people she cares about them. But I can tell you that she bugs you because she cares about you."

"...Thanks." And with that said, she walked away with a small smile on her face.

Now Rutger was sitting alone at the table, at a loss of what to do. He could search for Clarine and Fir and watch to make sure Fir didn't die, but he didn't really feel like spending any more of his time with teenage girls and their squabbles. He could go and train, but they'd march again next sunrise and he didn't want to tire himself out.

He was shaken from his thoughts when he heard squealing. At the end of the room were Chad, Lugh and Dieck. Dieck was standing legs spread, one arm in his side and the other held up. On said arm sat Lugh, looking like he had the time of his life. Chad was standing next to them, looking a bit worried.

"You have to do Chad next!" Chad furiously shook his head which made Lugh laugh even louder. Dieck let out a chuckle as well.

Rutger didn't want to admit it, but it was amusing to watch Dieck play with these kids.

"I bet I can have both of you, one on each arm."

"Whoa, really!?" Lugh was beaming while Chad was looking around, searching for a quick escape. He saw Rutger sitting at the table watching them, and he went over to him. He sat down on the opposite side, not once losing Lugh out of his eye. He and Rutger just shared a brief glance, before Chad was watching Lugh again, who was now trying to stand on Dieck.

"Watch out kid," Dieck warned, "if you fall Ellen will have to waste a mend staff on you and she won't like that."

"Don't worry!" Lugh put his hand on top of Dieck's head for support, who closed his eyes as protection against possible misplaced fingers. He stood on his shoulder, legs wobbling, and cautiously moved his right leg to Dieck's right shoulder. Dieck grabbed him by his ankles, steadying his footing. Once Lugh stood, he flexed. "Haha! Look at me! I'm the tallest man alive!"

"Not for long." Chad looked like he was ready to bolt and catch Lugh if he fell.

Rutger watched the scene unfold before his eyes and he found himself enjoying the banter between the children and Dieck. It wasn't often that he saw Lugh laughing like this. Of course he was cheerful, but the war had its effects on everyone and it was obvious that the young mage was often being cheerful for the sake of others.

Even Chad couldn't hide the occasional smile, despite being worried. Rutger suspected he was happy because his friend was laughing genuinely again.

Dieck was grinning, looking proud of himself while a child was standing on his shoulders. It was quite something.

"What the - What is going on here?!"

Marcus' sudden outburst made Lugh jump, which caused him to topple over. Dieck, still holding Lugh by his ankles, stretched his arms in front of him and held them up high, which made Lugh hang upside down. Chad was immediately at Lugh's side and Rutger had stood up as well, but sat down once he heard Lugh's giggling.

"Are you two out of your mind!? What if he fell?" Marcus was walking towards Dieck, furious now.

"To be fair, he just did. Because of you, no less. But look!" He shook Lugh in the air, causing the boy to cry out laughing. "He's alive and fine."

"I cannot believe you. And I thought you were a responsible adult! How dare you pin this on me."

"Um, that's really interesting, Marcus, but Dieck, do you think you could lower me now? My head is starting to feel odd."

"Oh of course, sorry kiddo." Dieck lowered Lugh so that his hands touched the ground, and then sidestepped and let go of his legs, so that Lugh could make a reverse handstand. The young mage stood up and wiped his hands off on his cape.

"Thanks for playing with us, Dieck! It was really fun, right Chad?" Chad nodded, hiding the lower half of his face in his collar.

"Thank you too for relieving my boredom." Dieck ruffled Lugh's hair, and the boy looked up at him with a big smile. Lugh and Chad looked unsurely at Marcus and then back at Dieck, and then ran off to do whatever kids in an army do.

Marcus sighed. "You are honestly irresponsible. That child could've been hurt and been useless for upcoming battles."

Rutger watched, interested, as he saw Dieck's face go from a careless grin to a serious look, which Rutger named the-expression-you-don't-want-to-see-him-with-on-the-battlefield. "Did you just say you were worried about a child's health... because otherwise they won't be able to fight?"

Marcus narrowed his eyes. "What I'm saying is that he joined on his own accord. We didn't force him. And we expect our soldiers to always be ready, not matter what."

"He is a child!" Dieck's expression now changed to what Rutger dubbed the-expression-you-REALLY-don't-want-to-see-him-with-on-the-battlefield. It wasn't that he looked extremely angry, he looked slightly pissed off. But the amount that it took to make him look like that was what made it scary. Dieck's voice also kept getting louder. "Of course he joined; it was the safest thing he could do. Might I remind you that his home was attacked and that he lost the man he called his father? For God's sake, he's thirteen years old! You can't expect a thirteen year old to take responsibility for everything he does!"

Marcus winced, not having expected the sudden outburst. "I-I suppose... But it is not our responsibility to ensure the boy's survival."

"But you CAN prevent it by not making him fight when he's injured."

Rutger stood up and stretched. It was time to end this bickering before it got any worse.

"I'm sure Lord Roy has totally different opinions than you on this subject." He walked over to the two. "Or am I wrong?"

Marcus looked very uncomfortable. "No... No, you're right. His opinion on this does differ from mine."

"Then why don't you ask Lord Roy what he thinks?" Dieck asked Marcus, shooting him a glare.

Marcus sighed. "You're right. I am sorry for my remark. It's just so hard to remind yourself that they're still children when you see how they fight out there."

Dieck looked surprised, but Rutger wasn't sure if it was because of the apology or if it was of something else. There was an awkward silence between the three of them that lasted for quite a while.

Marcus cleared his throat. "Ahem. Well. If you don't mind me, I have some tasks to take care of. Take care."

And with that, he left Rutger and Dieck alone, the two of them still awkwardly standing there.

"I want to go for a walk," Dieck suddenly said, and Rutger nodded.

They were at the Western Isles, having just driven away Nord from the castle. Roy had seized it, but it was quite small and there weren't that many bedrooms, so they set up their tents around it. Still, it was nice to cook, eat and take shelter in it and the castle had a bathing accommodation which everyone was really happy with. It was a bit of a wasteland around the castle, but there was a small forest pretty close by. Dieck and Rutger were walking to said forest, weapons still equipped in case any pirates they had missed decided to show up.

On the way to the forest neither of them said a thing. Rutger looked expectantly at Dieck a few times, but the latter was chewing on his bottom lip, looking like he was very deep in thought. Rutger decided not to ask.

Once they arrived, the silence was finally broken. "I can see why... I can see why they see us mercenaries as disposable. We are. We fight for a cause and get money. That's how we make a living."

Rutger nodded, urging Dieck to continue. "But the children in our army, they don't really have a choice, do they? Most of them are orphans, or lost, or have some other reason why joining an army is the safest option for them." He stopped for a bit, looking conflicted. "They don't get paid as much as we do even though they fight just as hard as us... And are still seen as disposable."

Rutger moved his gaze, looking at the small plants on the ground. He hadn't expected Dieck to care this much about it, and he wasn't sure if it was okay for him to ask further.

"Take Shanna, for example. She joined our mercenary band at age fourteen. At the time, she told us that she wanted to travel and fight in other places to learn a lot, and that she could use the extra money." Dieck smiled a sad smile. "It took her 2 weeks to convince me before I allowed her to join us. And never have I sent her up to the front lines. She's just a kid, after all. If she dies out there... I wouldn't know what to do."

"...She's still only fifteen now, isn't she."

"Yeah. Fifteen and she has a tendency to charge head-on into the battle." He sighed. "No matter what me, Lot or Wade tell her, she just won't slow down. And every time I lose her out of eyesight I'm worried that she was shot by an archer, that the enemy got her."

"...If it helps, she's not there alone. The cavaliers are able to keep up with her, and they are quite skilled. I can understand why you'd want her to stay in the back, though."

"I know, I know. She's a clever girl, and she knows how to take care of herself. I just can't help but worry, y'know? She's like a sister to me."

Rutger snorted. "You feel like everyone is family to you."

"Yeah well, if you don't have any you have to make them yourself."

"...Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright. It's true, after all. I started a mercenary band to put my skills to use and make money, and I got attached to the people in it. So much, that they all call me 'bro' and I can't help but view them as my family as well."

A silence fell between them. For a while, all that was heard was the creaking of dried leaves underneath their boots.

"Don't you have that with Clarine?"

"?"

Dieck thought for a bit before he stated his question again. "Aren't you afraid something will happen to her whenever she rushes to the front to heal someone?"

Rutger stayed silent. It was true that whenever she went to the front, he ran after her to make sure she would be okay. Marcus had scolded him a few times for breaking orders, but Roy always told him that he'd done the right thing and that he was sorry for not thinking the battle through enough. Rutger feared the boy was aging way too fast.

"...Yes. But she knows what she's doing. Of course I am worried, but she is a smart girl."

"But what if something did happen?"

"Out of the question. I'll be there to prevent it."

Dieck chuckled. "Not what I meant, but you're right. I don't think anyone would be able to hurt Clarine as long as you're around."

"She does a fine job of protecting herself, though. No enemy will stay with her for longer than ten seconds once she starts berating them for their fashion." Dieck laughed at that, and Rutger grinned.

"Yeah, she'll be fine."

Once again a peaceful silence fell between the two of them. Rutger felt like he should be the one to speak up this time.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“Clarine told me about how you’re regarded as a hero in her family.” If Dieck was taken by surprise he didn’t show it. “She says you’re an important person to her. What is that all about?”

“Are you sure you want to hear it? It’s a long story.”

“We have until tomorrow morning, is that enough?”

Dieck made a sound that was between a laugh and a sigh. “Fine. Let’s sit down somewhere here, though. I don’t want to walk any further in case we get lost.” Rutger had already forgotten the way back, but if Dieck still remembered it from here then that was fine.

They looked for something to sit on, but eventually decided to just sit down on the ground for neither of them really cared about keeping their clothes clean. Dieck rested his back against the trunk of a tree, while Rutger was sitting down across him with crossed legs, using his sheathed sword as armrest.

“Right, well, alright.” Dieck picked one of the leaves off of a plant next to him. “To start off, I was a pitfighter.”

“A pitfighter?”

“Yes. An arena fighter who fought for money. Nothing special. I was quite good at it, too.”

“How long was this ago?”

“This particular incident happened 13 years ago.” He started tearing up the leaf. “I had been making money like this for a little while. The arena fights happened once every so often. It was hard getting in if you weren’t a pitfighter hired by one of the royal houses, but I usually got in because of my skill.”

He threw away the torn leaf parts and moved his hands behind his head. He looked up at the sky, feeling Rutger’s gaze on him.

“So one day, just a regular day, I was there to fight in the arena again. There’s always a crowd of bored rich people, so the fights always have an opening act. This day was no different. Except, the lion used for the opening act decided that the same old act every time was getting boring, and it attacked one of the bystanders, which was Clarine’s brother, Klein.” Dieck stretched out his arms and yawned. “So of course, I, a real hero, protected the child. I managed to kill it, but no man gets away unscathed from a fight with a lion.” He rubbed his hand over the two scars on his chin. “The four scars on my face are all from that fight, as well as several on my body.”

Rutger’s gaze traveled over Dieck’s chest and stomach, but his eyes immediately shot up at his face once he realised he was unintentionally checking out Dieck. “Must’ve been one hell of a fight. I’m impressed that you were able to beat it at that age.”

If Dieck noticed anything, he didn’t show it. “Like I said, I was pretty skilled. But I was wounded badly. I don’t exactly remember what happened, but at one point Lord Pent, Klein’s and Clarine’s father, was there healing me while Klein was crying.”

“…”

“After that, I was taken into service by their family as their personal pitfighter. I had a place to stay, I was given food, and on top of it all I received money whenever I won, which was often. I quickly made a name for myself. And Klein… he was like a little brother. We would often play around because his parents were always busy. I was like a babysitter.”

“…And Clarine?”

“Clarine was only one year when it all happened, and I left when she was around five. I did take care of her, but it’s only natural she wouldn’t remember.”

“You left?”

“Yeah. After about 4 years I had enough money to buy my freedom and I left.”

“But… if they felt like family to you, why –“

“Because I am just a mercenary.”

“…Ah.”

Dieck looked down at his feet. “I couldn’t stay. It’d ruin the reputation of their family. I was sad, and I think they were too, but I don’t regret it. It was the best thing to do.”

“You should go back with Clarine after the war.”

“What?”

“If what you say is true, then they haven’t forgotten about you. You should show your face again. I know that at least Clarine would appreciate it, and so would Klein.”

“Ha!” Dieck leaned forward, getting closer to Rutger’s face. “Is someone trying to back out of a promise?”

“…?”

“We’re going to take revenge on Bern, remember? Your life long goal?”

Rutger playfully pushed Dieck’s head away, who started laughing. “…Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about that. But we can always make a sidestop.”

“How generous of you. In that case, I think I just might drag you to house Reglay.”

“Even if you didn’t, Clarine probably would’ve taken me. She wants me to meet her dear ‘horsies’.”

Dieck chuckled. “Is that so? Then, I have to go with you. I won’t pass up this opportunity to see you on a horse.” He stood up, dusted off his pants and then extended his hand to Rutger, who gratefully took it and stood up as well.

“Not like you had much of a choice. You promised to go with me, right partner?” They were still standing there, Rutger’s hand in Dieck’s, a smirk on Rutger’s face. Dieck looked at him, face blank.

Suddenly, he let go of Rutger’s hand. “Oh man, what time is it? I totally forgot Shanna asked me to spar with her. I have to go.”

“What? Huh?” Rutger was all confusion. Did he do something wrong?

“Yeah! Wow, I’m such an scatterbrain, haha. Well, see you later!”

“Dieck, wait!” But it was too late. Dieck had already run off at amazing speed. “I don’t know the way back…”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Finally having found the way back – it only took him 2 hours – he was walking around camp again, looking for Dieck.

"Rutger!" Rutger didn't have to turn around to know that the high pitched, slightly disgusted sounding voice belonged to no other than their mounted healer, Clarine. She ran past him and then stopped right in front of him, arms and legs spread wide, trying to block his way. A pathetic attempt, but Rutger stopped walking to amuse her. "What are you wearing!"

"Clothes."

"That is not what I meant and you know it!" Clarine balled her fists and stomped her foot on the ground like a child. Well, she still was a child. Rutger had learned that in this war it was easy to forget half their army consisted of children that were way too young to be fighting. "I mean that you're still wearing that old, raggedy coat. How many times has that thing been patched? It even has burn marks on the hem! You really need a new one."

"I don't want a new one." Rutger tugged at the hood of his coat. "This one is just fine."

"How can you think it's 'just fine'?" Clarine looked disgusted. "If it's because of the money, worry not. I am willing to buy you a new coat, for I am thankful that you -"

"This coat is all I have left of my dead father." He watched how Clarine's expression went from upset for being interrupted to a blank look with her mouth forming an 'o'. "I don't want a new one."

"Oh, Rutger, I am so sorry." Clarine's voice was very soft and she sounded like she was on the verge of crying. Rutger realised how sad it was that a fourteen year old, separated from her family, felt sad for him, a grown man. "I didn't know... I wouldn't have pushed you - I wouldn't even have asked you if I knew that."

"It's fine." Rutger assured, trying to look nice by glaring less. "You couldn't have known. It was sweet of you to offer."

"Then, let me at least get you a new belt!" Clarine was all business again.

"A new belt?"

"Yes. The one you're wearing now is very worn, and I want to thank you for always protecting me."

"You really don't have to -"

"Please, Rutger." Clarine looked at him with pleading eyes. "I just want to thank you. Since I was captured I've been very lonely. I miss my parents and especially my brother a lot... But talking to you always makes me feel better, even if you don't say that much." Rutger felt bad, so to say. It was true that he hung around a lot with Clarine (and Dieck) when he had time to spent after battle, but he never was much for conversation. Clarine always did all the talking, which made him believe that she talked this much to everyone in the army and not just him. Had he known that she valued him this much, he would've put more effort in talking to her. Or at least tried to. "A-And I don't want anyone to see you wearing such an ugly belt, especially not if you're going to be protecting me!"

Good old Clarine, never changing. Rutger ruffled her hair, to which she started squealing. "Very well then. If you insist."

"Remove your hand at once! My hair, ruined! Ruined I say! Do you know how long it takes to - ...are you smiling?"

"Definitely not." He said, failing in trying to hide his smile. Clarine glared at him, but let it slide. She tried to fix her hair as best as she could with her hands, and then ran after Rutger who had started walking to the barracks.

"Hmpf! As punishment for ruining my hair, I will buy you a purple belt that matches my robe."

"I change my mind. I don't want to take you up on that offer anymore."

"It's okay, Dieck likes purple."

Rutger froze in place, looking perplexed. Clarine was laughing very unladylike, clasping her stomach and doubling over.

"You... How did you...?"

Clarine sighed and pinked away the tears on the corners of her eyes. "Oh come on! It's pretty obvious. You're always looking for him. And hey, pro tip. If you're going to stare, at least make sure no one sees you do it! It's very embarrassing."

Rutger just stared at her. He had forgotten how observant she was for her age. He had also forgotten how Clarine was always near him on the battlefield, even when he was fighting on the front with Dieck and the cavalier duos.

"Well? Are you not going to deny it?"

"...You have something in your hair."

"Huh?"

"Here, let me get it out for you..." Clarine stopped in her tracks, allowing Rutger to get the 'something' out of her hair. Except instead of getting this imaginary thing out of her hair, he messed it up even more.

"Waah! Stop, stop! Stop it, you heathen! How dare you!" Clarine furiously tried to swat Rutger's arm away. "I CANNOT believe you! You child!"

Rutger wasn't sure if a fourteen year old calling him a child was a new kind of low for him, but he decided it came close enough. He just grinned at Clarine who, again, tried to fix her hair, but this time there was no saving it. "Look what you did! This is going to take at LEAST 150 brush strokes!"

"How dare you bully this poor lady, Rutger? I had expected better from you."

Clarine and Rutger both looked up in surprise to see Dieck standing in front of them, Shanna at his side. "To bully such a beautiful lady must take a really dark heart, if you even have a heart at all."

Rutger was about to say something, but Clarine cut him off. "Please save me from this man!" She pleaded, hand over her head. "I'm too beautiful to die!"

Shanna took a fighting stance. "What's the plan, bro?"

"You save the poor lady and fix her hair, I'll take down this brigand." Rutger was surprised that Dieck didn't mind Shanna calling him 'bro' anymore, but he supposed Dieck thought that not getting annoyed at it anymore was better for the both of them.

"Got it!" Shanna said, about to run for Clarine.

Oh. So that was what they were doing. Well, if they made Rutger a foul brigand in their little game, then he better play the role.

Rutger quickly barred her way, and unsheathed his sword. Clarine yelped. "Rutger! What are you doing!"

Rutger glared at Shanna menacingly, sword held in front of him. "Come... If you dare."

Shanna took a step back, confused and slightly shocked. Rutger could feel Clarine tug on the back of his coat. "Stop it! Stop it I say! Or I will make sure your belt has glitters as well!"

Rutger watched as Dieck drew his own sword, standing protectively in front of Shanna. He shot Rutger a questioning look, but immediately understood when Rutger nodded. "Have you lost your mind, heathen? How dare you turn your weapon on an innocent girl!" The next words he said softer, like he didn't want Rutger to hear them. "Listen up. Once me and this monster are engaged in a fight, you need to save lady Clarine. Do not worry; I will protect you."

Shanna nodded firmly, and when she realised Dieck couldn't see that she yelled "got it!". Then Dieck charged at Rutger, who quickly evaded the attack and countered with a strike of his own. While the two were going at it, Shanna quickly went in and took Clarine's hand, and ran with her back to her tent.

Once they were out of eyesight, Dieck stopped and sighed. Rutger halted his movements as well, a bit disappointed that Dieck didn’t want to continue their sparring match. 

“They're quite the duo.” Dieck ran his hand through his hair. “What was that all about?”

Rutger shrugged. “Just me and Clarine ruining each others lifes.”

“Of course. What else?” Dieck smiled and shook his head. “You're a pretty good actor, you know?”

Rutger smirked “That wasn't acting. Next time, you're all dead.”

Had he said this to anyone else, they'd have flex the country or told everyone so that they could ambush him. Dieck just chuckled. “Well, at least I'd die by your hand.”

Rutger didn't know what to say to that, and Dieck seemed to regret saying it, which led to an awkward silence for a few seconds until Rutger decided to save the day. “How was your sparring session with Shanna?”

“Huh? Oh… Right! Haha.” Dieck scratched the back of his head, looking a bit sheepish. There was definitely something off today. “She's getting stronger every day. I'm kind of hoping that one day she'll be able to win against me without me letting her win.”

Rutger thought Dieck looked like Rutger's father when he came home and told him that he hunted his first bunny: incredibly proud. The kind of proud only dads can feel. It was cute. “...It’s good to hear that.”

Rutger lifted his head to look up at the sky. It was starting to show pinkish colours and he wondered if he had missed dinner. Not that he cared much.

“It's starting to get dark out.” Dieck always seemed to know the perfect time to mention things. “Feeling up to start a campfire again?”

Usually, after a long day, Dieck, Wade and Lot would create a campfire and sit around it and reflect on the day. Rutger, Bors, Barth, Ogier, Treck and Astore often joined them. Marcus used to join them, but stopped when he realised the awkwardness wasn't because they had nothing to talk about. Lugh and Chad would join them too, claiming they were big enough, but Lugh always ended up falling asleep on Chad’s shoulder and Astore would carry him back to his tent. The others favored their sleep more. 

Sometimes they joked about, sometimes they sat in complete silence. Nonetheless, Rutger usually enjoyed the campfires. The company of fellow mercenaries who all had their own story was soothing in a way. Getting to know things about people was interesting, too. Wade and Lot both had people they fought for. Astore had to leave his wife behind for the spy’s life. Chad stole so he and his brothers and sisters at the orphanage could survive. In a way, he respected all of them.

“...Sure. I don't know how many people will join, though. We have to wake up early tomorrow.” 

“That's fine.” Dieck grinned at him. “I'm sure it'll be fun too with just the two of us.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

When they finally started the fire with the help of Lugh’s anima magic, it was already dark. Rutger was sitting next to Dieck, legs crossed. Around the rest of the fire were Treck, Wade, Lot and Astore. The others decided to go to bed after Marcus showed up to scold them for staying up so late. The people still sitting around the fire didn't care about that, or didn't care if Marcus came to kill them in their sleep.

They didn't really talk a lot, but that was fine. The warmth of the campfire felt nice, and everyone seemed tired but content just sitting together.

“Gonzales… sit down?” The small group looked up to see Gonzales standing a bit away from them, looking unsure. He had just joined them that day after Lilina spoke to him. Some were still wary around him, him being an ex brigand and all. Rutger felt sorry for the poor guy, being tricked and manipulated like that.

“Of course.” Treck patted down on the space next to him. “Come have seat.”

Rutger admired Treck for his obliviousness to practically everything. The cavalier either didn't notice or just didn't care about things. Some people found it insensitive, but for some people him being so relaxed relaxed them as well.

Gonzales sat down next to Treck, trying not to look anyone in the eyes. “I'm Treck,” Treck said, trying to get Gonzales to speak, “what's your name?”

“You… Reck.” Gonzales did his best to try to pronounce the name, looking proud when he did it. “Me, Gonzales.”

“Welcome to the army, Gonzales.” Treck patted him on the shoulder but immediately withdrew his arm when Gonzales flinched, looking a bit confused.

“Don't worry, we're all friends here,” Dieck piped up, “even mean old Rutger here.”

That earned him a push from Rutger and laughing from the others. Even Gonzales smiled with them.

“You… Rutger?” Rutger nodded, trying his best not to look mean.

“You… here.” Gonzales stood up and handed Rutger a… loaf of bread. “You did not eat. Very bad. Man must eat.”

“Oh… Thank you, Gonzales.” Rutger took the loaf of bread from him. He totally forgot that he had barely eaten. Dieck looked a bit concerned.

“Did you not go to dinner today?” he asked.

“No, I… didn't have time.”

“Didn't have time? But I thought we left the forest pretty early.”

Rutger looked away. “Yeah, well… I was… occupied with something.

Dieck smirked. “Don't tell me- Rutger, a vengeful demon incredibly skilled in the art of the sword, got lost in a little forest?”

“Absolutely not,” Rutger said firmly, “I just wanted to see a bit more of the trees.”

“Because we don't see enough leaves every day.” Wade joined in. The company laughed at that, not buying Rutger’s obvious lie. He cursed his bad sense of direction and angrily chomped off a piece of the loaf.

Once again the group sat there in silence, the only sounds being the crackling of the fire and Rutger’s chewing. Wade has his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the fire. Lot kept shaking his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't fall asleep and fall face first into the burning wood.

Treck looked up and sighed. “The stars are so pretty tonight…”

“Sars? Gonzales asked.

“Mhm.” Treck pointed up at the sky. “The light dots in the sky. Stars.”

“Oh… Whoa…” Gonzales looked up where Treck’s finger pointed. He sounded like he had never seen the stars before, and looked in awe.

“There's a small hill not far away from here that's the perfect spot for stargazing. Want to go there?”

“Sargazing… Sound nice.” At Gonzales’ answer Treck stood up and reached his hand out to Gonzales, who took it and was pulled up by him.

“Don't be too late kids,” Astore warned, “if Marcus sees you you're dead.”

“Don't worry.” Treck gave him a goofy smile. “I've had worse scoldings from Zealot.” After that, he left, Gonzales following him in tow.

Astore stood up as well and stretched. “Sorry, but I'll be going to bed. Thanks for the company.”

“We'll be going, too.” Lot pulled up Wade, who was not really helping. “This doofus keeps falling asleep.”

Wade looked like he wanted to object to the claim, but instead rested his head on Lot’s shoulder, who immediately shook him off. “Almost there, Wade! Just 5 more minutes until you can sleep in your tent. Don't sleep on my goddamn shoulder.”

Dieck chuckled. “Good luck with him.”

“Thanks, bro. I'll need it.”

After they said their goodnights Astore, Lot and a half asleep Wade went to their tents, leaving only Dieck and Rutger at the campfire.

“...So you got lost, huh?”

“It was all your fault.” Rutger crossed his arms. “You know my sense of direction is bad. You could've at least taken me when you ran off like an idiot.”

“...You're right. I’m sorry.” Dieck looked away from Rutger. “I should've realised.”

Rutger sighed. “It's fine. Just help me find the way back next time. I felt like a fool.” 

Dieck snorted, and Rutger resisted the urge to smack his head. Dieck could be such a dick sometimes.

“Something has been bothering you lately.” Dieck looked Rutger in the eyes, brows knitted. “Are your nightmares playing up again?”

Rutger was taken aback by the bluntness of the statement. He took a moment to think about it. It was true that his nightmares were getting worse again, but that was not all. He found himself falling more and more in love every day with the mercenary sitting next to him, and it was not doing him well. Especially not on the battlefield. Dieck being so oblivious to his remarks didn't really help, either. But he wouldn't admit that to the mercenary.

“...Yeah. I don't know why, though.”

“Hmmm…” Dieck scratched his chin. “Want me to help?”

“Help? With my nightmares?”

“Yeah. It might not help, but you can sleep in my tent, if you want. Maybe the thought of me being there for if anything happens will help you sleep without any nasty nightmares.”

Did Dieck just invite him to sleep with him? “That may not go over well with the others.”

“Who cares.” Dieck performed a dismissive wave with his hand. He subtly shifted closer. Or well, tried to be subtle about it. “They don't need to know. Besides, we won't be the first ones sharing a tent.”

“The ones sharing a tent are either kids or best friends for a long time.”

Dieck sighed. “But aren't we best friends? Listen, Rutger…” Dieck moved his hand to tuck a strand of Rutger’s brown hair behind his ear. He looked very deep in thought. “...I just want you to be safe.” His hand lingered on Rutger’s face for a bit, but he quickly pulled away, as if stung.

“Dieck…” Rutger looked at him, eyes serious. He leaned forward so that their faces were only a couple inches away, and placed his hand on Dieck’s chest. “Dieck, just fucking kiss me.”

And Dieck did.

It was short, and a bit awkward, because it took Dieck’s brain about 3 seconds to register that yes he should just fucking go for it, but it was sweet. When their lips met Dieck’s hand wandered to Rutger’s cheek and Rutger placed both hands on Dieck’s chest, leaning for support. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Dieck slowly pulled back, smirking. “Like that?”

“You don't know how long I've been waiting for that.”

“All you had to do was ask.” Dieck laughed at Rutger’s glare. “So I take it you have no objections to sleeping in my tent anymore?”

“I'll get my stuff.”

Rutger went to his tent to get his sleeping stuff, trying his best to be quiet and not wake anyone up. While making his way to Dieck’s tent, hands full with his mattress and pillow, he quite literally bumped against Saul, causing him to almost fall over. Almost.

“Where are you going with that, Rutger?”

“Out of the way, Saul. I'm gay.”

“Oh.” Saul stepped aside, making way for Rutger. “Godspeed, Rutger.”

Dieck was waiting outside of his tent, looking up at the sky, hands behind his head. When he heard Rutger stumble he went to help him and took the mattress out of Rutger’s hands. A lot of stumbling and cursing later they got Rutger’s bed ready, next to Dieck’s. Dieck closed the tent doors while Rutger stood in the middle of the tent, looking around. “What do you think?” Dieck asked, noticing Rutger’s staring.

“It’s just a plain tent, Dieck.” Rutger deadpanned, “I don't think anything of it.”

“I admire your honesty.” Dieck said, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Rutger froze in place, taken by surprise, which caused Dieck to chuckle. Damn him.

They quickly got changed and laid down, tired from the day. Rutger felt like he could fall asleep any second. He felt Dieck’s stare in his back and turned around, eyes questioning. Dieck looked at him, and then slung his arm around his waist and pulled him close to his chest. They were laying together on Dieck’s mattress now.

“Do you mean to tell me,” Rutger whispered, “that I dragged my mattress through the entire camp for nothing?”

Rutger could hear Dieck’s chest rumble as he chuckled. “I'm sorry for that.” He kissed the crown of Rutger’s head and rested his chin atop of it. “G’night Rutger.”

“Good night…” Rutger mumbled, half in dreamland already.

That night, he didn't suffer from any nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> ok do you know that one vine of this guy who goes to wake up a dude and then ANOTHER DUDE EMERGES BEHIND THE DUDE THATS SHANNA WAKING UP DIECK AND RUTGER


End file.
